I’ve been trying to think of something intelligent or insightful to say about today’s primaries in NC and IN, but I got nothin’. I’m so sick of this stupid thing that I can’t even muster the energy to stump for Obama or snipe at Hillary. I was even going to make a joke about playing Six Degrees of Barack Obama, but I just don’t have will to do so.
Apparently the voting lines are enormous. Judging from this YouTube video, the voters will be on their feet for quite some time. I have my fingers crossed we’ll see someone drop out tomorrow, but I ain’t holding my breath.
I Hope the Voters Don’t Let Us Down
The horror! The horror!
I fucking hate Wal-Mart.
But not for the reasons you might think. I could care less that they run independent businesses out of town. It doesn’t bother me that they are probably single-handedly responsible for the demise of many American-based manufacturers. Their anti-Union policies bore me, and their support of China puts me to sleep.
Why do I hate them? Well, their total and complete lack of customer service pisses me off to no end. Tell me, what good are thirty lanes of cash registers if there are never more than five of the damn things open at a time? Also, do you think that Wal-Mart employees know that they might, at some point, have to interact with a customer?
Leigh also hates Wal-Mart, but not for the same reason. She hates it because of the rotten mood going to Wal-Mart engenders in me. On one occasion, we went to Wal-Mart for a handful of items. We went in, got our stuff, and were ready to go in under five minutes. When we got the the front of the store there were four, FOUR, cash registers open and each one had a line with no less than ten people. And each person looked like they were stocking up for a hurricane. Without saying a word I threw our items in the floor, including milk and bread, and walked out the door. We stayed away from Wal-Mart for several months after that little incident.
On Sunday we made another sojourn into the heart of darkness. I wanted to share the experience with my readers, but I think that instead of ranting like a madman I’ll relate the incident–and yes, it was an incident–in the form of a play.
INT. WAL-MART GARDEN CENTER. SUNDAY AFTERNOON.
MARK and LEIGH stand impatiently in line. There are eight to ten people in line and only one cashier working. The FEMALE CASHIER is joking with a MALE EMPLOYEE who is standing by the bagging area of the cashwrap. The MALE EMPLOYEE appears to be on the clock but is not engaged in any other activity other than joking with the FEMALE CASHIER. MARK and LEIGH movie up to the register, and without a greeting the FEMALE CASHIER begins to scan their items.
I know, right? But I so damn tired from last night. Last place I wanna be is here.
Yeah girl, I know whatcha mean.
Why don’t you take over for me then? You can scan these people awhile.
Hell no, girl. All the customers today are in a bad mood. Ain’t no way I wanna mess with them.
Yeah. And you know what? Standing up here at the cashwrap, screwing around and talking about the customers’ bad moods, is sure to put them in a much better mood. Don’tcha think?
FEMALE CASHIER stops scanning. MALE EMPLOYEE stares angrily at MARK. LEIGH did not hear the exchange but looks curiously at MARK. The MALE EMPLOYEE storms off and the FEMALE CASHIER hands MARK the receipt.
Don’t pay him no attention. Thank you.
MARK and LEIGH begin to leave via the GARDEN CENTER exit.
Why was that guy so mad at you? What the fuck did you say to him?
END SCENE.
Arguing for God (or pr0n)
Last night (actually, two nights ago, after the edits) while talking to my friend Tank (what up, Spaceman), our conversation swerved into religion, as it is wont to do, and he told me that he intentionally dislikes discussing religion at all, even if the other person brings it up. I told him I intentionally try to press people about their views, especially if they bring up the subject. Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not out to attack anyone or anything like that, but it seems to me that an unexamined belief system is really no belief system at all. In John Milton’s Aeropagitica, Milton states (please don’t skip this):
Good and evil we know in the field of this world grow up together almost inseparably; and the knowledge of good is so involved and interwoven with the knowledge of evil, and in so many cunning resemblances hardly to be discerned, that those confused seeds which were imposed upon Psyche as an incessant labour to cull out, and sort asunder, were not more intermixed. It was from out the rind of one apple tasted, that the knowledge of good and evil, as two twins cleaving together, leaped forth into the world. And perhaps this is that doom which Adam fell into of knowing good and evil, that is to say of knowing good by evil. As therefore the state of man now is; what wisdom can there be to choose, what continence to forbear without the knowledge of evil? He that can apprehend and consider vice with all her baits and seeming pleasures, and yet abstain, and yet distinguish, and yet prefer that which is truly better, he is the true wayfaring Christian.
I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary but slinks out of the race, where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat. Assuredly we bring not innocence into the world, we bring impurity much rather; that which purifies us is trial, and trial is by what is contrary. That virtue therefore which is but a youngling in the contemplation of evil, and knows not the utmost that vice promises to her followers, and rejects it, is but a blank virtue, not a pure; her whiteness is but an excremental whiteness. Which was the reason why our sage and serious poet Spenser, whom I dare be known to think a better teacher than Scotus or Aquinas, describing true temperance under the person of Guion, brings him in with his palmer through the cave of Mammon, and the bower of earthly bliss, that he might see and know, and yet abstain. Since therefore the knowledge and survey of vice is in this world so necessary to the constituting of human virtue, and the scanning of error to the confirmation of truth, how can we more safely, and with less danger, scout into the regions of sin and falsity than by reading all manner of tractates and hearing all manner of reason? And this is the benefit which may be had of books promiscuously read.
Milton claims that a person can’t really know good unless they know and consciously deny evil as well. Milton was a big believer in free speech in a time when free speech wasn’t exactly seen as an inalienable right.
In 2005, the Atheist Agenda at UTSA began the “Smut for Smut” campaign. If a person brought in a Bible, the Atheist Agenda organization would gladly exchange the Bible for a free porno mag. Unsurprisingly, this made national news. The sad part about the whole deal was that I was so dense I didn’t even realize it was happening, on the campus in which I work, no less, until I read about it on Fark . For someone who takes a great deal of pride in cultural awareness, this was quite embarrassing. Here’s the post I wrote when I found out I’d missed the whole damn thing.
Anyhow, the Atheist Agenda has been doing this since 2005, but so far they haven’t received as much attention as that first year. I guess people do get desensitized to porn.
This year I discovered that one of my students was manning (womanning?) the Smut for Smut booth. That’s Chelsea Lura on the right. Hi Chelsea.

So, after three years of thinking about this, here are my random thoughts on Smut for Smut:
1) I’m glad I work at a state school where shit like this can happen. At Baylor, where I got my undergrad degree, these people would have been beaten bloody with King James Bibles.
2) This is an ineffective mode of argumentation. Understand that when I use the word “argument” I don’t meet a debate. I’m using the Aristotelian definition of the term, which stress the possibility of not only reconciliation between the arguing parties, but also of intellectual advancement and ultimately a movement toward finding Truth. One of the most crucial aspects of any argument is a clear understanding of the orator or writer’s audience. Only by identifying the audience can the author determine the best tools to employ during the argument. I suppose it’s all about mission statement, but if the Atheist Agenda wants to meaningfully argue with religious people, and presumably cause them to question their faith, then they need to redefine their argumentative techniques.
I would think that the Atheist Agenda would need to have as logical an argument as possible with religious people, simply because logic is where religiosity falls apart. Again, I’m not attacking religion, it’s just that faith, by it’s very definition, is a belief in something in spite of all logic and reason. Contrastingly, religion is all about passion and emotion, so it would be best to avoid overly passionate and emotive techniques when arguing with the religious because doing so puts them in familiar territory; it’s a place where they can rally and counter-argue with their own passionate rhetoric. Then the argument has devolved into a shouting match.
All Smut for Smut does is take something that religious people passionately feel is morally wrong–porn–and juxtapose it against something that they passionately feel is morally right–the Bible. This places the two arguing figures in antagonistic roles, and even more unproductively, it forces people who might have otherwise been persuaded into hearing the Atheist Agenda’s side into choosing the side of passion with which they feel more familiar. Odds are good that will be the side of the religious. As a consequence, the Smut for Smut campaign will only further divide believers and non-believers, and it will strengthen the ideological foundation of the religious because it will serve as confirmation that their assumptions of Atheists are correct.
However, if the Atheist Agenda wishes to simply rally their base and cause some commotion, then Mission Accomplished.
3. When walking to and from my office, I need to pay better attention to the booths outside the HSS building.
One of the other things my friend Tank said during our conversation was that he categorizes people like Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins similarly to folks like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. They don’t add anything meaningful to public discourse, and in fact, they do their level best to create an environment of antagonism and division.
I don’t like antagonism and division.
I don’t like exclusion and insularity.
But I do appreciate the porn. So kudos to you, Atheist Agenda.
No More Teacher’s / Dirty Looks
Last day of normal classes. I’m probably happier about this than my students.
links for 2008-03-11
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Christopher Hitchens and Sean Hannity must be so depressed.
links for 2008-03-10
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“Saying that Hillary has Executive Branch experience is like saying Yoko Ono was a Beatle,”
Homework
I’m so disgusted by what I’ve just read that a post will actually have to wait until this evening. If I were to write the post now, it would be nothing but pure, unadulterated, vitriolic hate.
links for 2008-03-07
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5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
U.S. Television Sucks
Why, oh why, can’t our T.V. be as cool as the U.K.’s?
F.U.B.A.R.
Several months ago, I bought what I thought was a twelve GB jump drive from Monstor. It looked like a Zippo lighter, and let me repeat, it held twelve GB of data. Total nerdgasam.

Here’s where the problem occurs: In reality it wasn’t a flash drive but an actual hard drive, complete with moving internal parts. Why should that matter? Well, it’s generally not a good idea to throw around a hard drive all willy-nilly. Or put it in a backpack and walk around with it bumping and colliding with pens and pencils and all the other shit I carry around. Hard drives have moving platters inside them, not to mention articulator arms and all kinds of little moving bits, all of which are susceptible to shock and damage.
I’m sure you can see where all this is going. That’s right, today my totally rad Zippo drive suddenly started making wacky little whirring noises, and even more maddening, the computer would not recognize it. Oh, sure, the little blue light would illuminate when I plugged it into the USB slot, but nothing would happen. Normally I save files on both the desktop hard drive and the flash drive, but since mid-term grades are coming up I haven’t had time to backup the Zippo drive.
Yeah. My grades and my grade reports suddenly refused to open. So I got pissed, and I took the stupid thing apart. Now remember, I thought I had a flash drive, so imagine my surprise when I saw this:
That ain’t a flash drive.
So now I have a day to come up with grades to turn in for mid-term.
On the bright side, I did find this nifty little service that syncs all your Microsoft Docs with Google Docs. I just got finished uploading almost five hundred documents from my local hard drive to Google Docs. Hopefully this shit won’t happen again.